You Are More Than You Have Become
by Kiss And Make Up
Summary: A ONESHOT story with a bitterweet ending. Post twentyone is the loneliest number. Rory has nowhere to go, and returns home to her mother in hopes of figuring out her life.


**Oddly enough, the idea for this story came to me while I was rewatching _The Lion King_ (don't ask why I was watching it. I just felt like watching a kid's movie. It was one of those days). I Anyway, when it got to that one scene where Simba sees his father up in the clouds, it made me think of this situation with Gilmore Girls. The title line: "You are more than you have become" really stuck with me, along with the "remember who you are" that he kept repeating. I know it's a completely different situation here, but it made me think of it anyway.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the_ Lion King_ or _Gilmore Girls_**

**This is set after 6-7: "Twenty-one is the Loneliest Number"**

* * *

Shutting the door quietly and locking it behind her, Rory Gilmore tiptoed over to her dresser, pulling some nightclothes out of the bottom drawer. She lay them down on her bed and began to undress when someone suddenly began pounding on her door.

_So close! _Rory thought to herself as she threw her shirt back on and pulled the door open.

"Do you know what time it is, young lady?"

"Hi Grandma."

Emily Gilmore stormed past her into the room. She turned back to face her and stared hard with that evil look in her eyes.

"Don't you 'hi grandma' me! I asked you a question."

"I thought it was a rhetorical question." Rory tried to stall away from the point of this conversation.

"Well it wasn't. If I ask a rhetorical question, I'll let you know. Otherwise, I expect an answer."

"Yes." Rory gave in.

"Yes, what?" Emily was confused now, having forgotten what the original question was.

"I know what time it is."

"Right. Well are you aware of the fact that _three o'clock in the morning_ is _not_ an acceptable time to arrive home."

"I guess."

"You guess? This isn't something to be unsure of. Either you know it or you don't."

"Okay! Yes, Grandma, I know you disapprove of my coming home at three."

"Of course I do! You can't go around staying out this late. Especially if you were with a boy. Were you with Logan, Rory?"

"Yes."

Emily's scowl deepened. She had always been so fond of that boy before, but not anymore. Not since she found out he was sleeping with her granddaughter.

"You can't stay out like this Rory. Why were you out so late tonight?"

Rory was fed up with her grandmother trying to control her like she was a little girl. She was twenty-one now, for god's sake! Finally understanding the feeling of claustrophobia that her mother had always tried to explain that came with living in this house, Rory snapped.

"Not tonight."

"What do you mean not tonight? You just came in right now, and right now is tonight."

"No, I mean, not _just_ tonight."

"What?" Emily was shocked now.

"That's right, grandma. You just never knew before because I lived in the pool house. Then you pulled this ridiculous stunt of putting me here in the bedroom next to you so you could keep an eye on me. Well, it's not going to work."

"You can't do things like this, young lady."

"But that's just it, Grandma! I can! I've legally been an adult since I was eighteen, and I am way past that now. I'm twenty-one. You can't control me like a sixteen-year-old girl."

Emily was beyond disappointed now. She was angry. How dare she talk to her this way!

"Fine, you don't have to stay in this bedroom anymore."

Rory was surprised at this. Had her grandmother really caved that easily?

"Really?"

"Yes. You may go."

"What? Go where?"

"Anywhere, but you can't stay here anymore."

Rory's heart sank. _No wonder it seemed too good to be true—it was._

"Are you serious?"

"Yes." Emily was nearing tears now. She couldn't stand doing this, treating this girl that she loved so much this way, admitting she had failed—but she didn't see any other options.

"But, why?"

"You're going to get pregnant."

"What?" This was just too much. Rory was beginning to have flashbacks now, thinking back on the time when she and Dean had fallen asleep after a dance her sophomore year. Her grandmother was reacting in the same way that she had then. But this reaction then made at least a _little_ sense, because she had been sixteen, and it would be normal to freak out at your sixteen-year-old granddaughter having sex—especially when that was the same age her mother was when she was born. But Rory was older now, and hearing this again was just absurd.

"You're going to get pregnant." Emily stated again, as if it had already happened. "And if you're going to throw you life away, just like your mother did, than I won't see it happen while you're under my roof. You can go get pregnant somewhere else."

"Grandma, I'm not going to get pregnant." Rory argued.

Emily didn't say anything. She just stared at Rory, the tears slowly beginning to fall. Rory saw how serious she was.

"Fine, I'll start packing my things." Rory watched Emily, waiting for a response, but none came. She just turned and left the room, leaving Rory all alone.

Rory fell back onto the bed, her hair spilling around her in the form of a halo. She desperately wanted to cry, to show remorse at this situation, but the tears just would not come. When she pulled out a cardboard box and began to place her belongings carefully inside, it finally became real: she was homeless; and the tears were finally able to fall.

She sank down onto the floor, her head resting upon her forearms and her legs curled up underneath her. She began to sob into her arms, her shirtsleeves becoming soaked from her crying. She continued to lie like that on the carpet, and eventually, sleep overtook her exhausted body.

---

_Riinng!_

Rory's alarm went off and she jumped up off of the floor. She rubbed cautiously at her neck, which was stiff from her awkward sleeping position, and hit the button to stop the obnoxious noise. She looked around at the half-filled boxes and remembered what was going on, and that she hadn't finished packing yet. She hurried now, not wanting her grandmother to come in and lecture her some more.

In less than and hour, she had everything together and ready to go. It took her at least six trips, but she finally managed to get everything out to her car, and quickly sped away from the oppressive mansion. She felt bad about not saying goodbye to her grandfather, who may have not even known that she was leaving, but she really didn't want to face Emily yet.

She was driving down the road for about ten minutes, when she remembered that she didn't have anywhere to go. She pulled over into and empty parking lot and stopped the car so she could think. It didn't take her too long to realize that she really only had one option. _I have to go home. I have to see my mother._

Putting the car back in gear, she headed off down the familiar path to Stars Hollow.

---

She pulled into the driveway and stared through the windshield at the house in front of her. _God, I missed this place._ She thought as she climbed out the door and headed up the front walk. She dug through her purse and pulled out the key. She thought it would be better to just let herself in, figuring her mother might not be up yet. It was still only around six in the morning.

She walked quietly into the foyer, but came to a sudden halt when she saw her mother asleep in the living room. Very confused, but still too nervous to wake her up and talk to her yet, Rory went into the kitchen to stall by making some coffee. She knew the smell would wake her mom up, and then she wouldn't have to.

Sure enough, a few minutes later she heard her mother stir. She heard blankets being thrown on the floor, and then her mother's footsteps headed towards the kitchen.

"Luke?" Lorelai called out. "What are you doing back already?"

Rory was unsure what response would upset her mother the least, so she decided on no response at all. She just sat at the table, keeping her eye on the doorway, waiting for her mother to enter the room.

When Lorelai finally made it to the kitchen, she stopped short, shocked to see her daughter instead of her fiancé. Trying to act as calmly as possible, she walked over to the counter and poured some of the coffee Rory had made into a mug. She sat down at the table across from Rory, and silently drank her coffee. There was no way she could have this conversation without being fully caffeinated first. Once she finished, she placed the mug on the table, and finally looked her daughter in the eye.

"Rory." She stated, leaving the meaning up to interpretation.

"Mom." Rory mimicked.

"So…" This time, Lorelai let her inflection show clearly that this was a question. _What the hell are you doing here?_ Is what she _really _meant, and Rory was well aware of this.

"Grandma kicked me out." Rory went straight to the point.

Lorelai just looked at her, not really sure where to go from here. She knew that if Rory really had no place to go, then she would cave and let her stay here. She wouldn't let her live on the streets. She had never really wanted to kick her out in the first place! It had really been an empty threat, one that backfired completely. She couldn't tell Rory this though. Somehow, sometime, at some point during this whole ordeal, Rory had to learn her lesson. Lorelai had a duty as a mother to make sure of that.

"Why?" She finally asked, deciding the best thing to do would be just to start by getting all of the details.

"She found out I was having sex with Logan." Rory continued to be blunt and straightforward.

"How?" Lorelai continued to be barely responsive and monosyllabic.

"The preacher told her."

Lorelai decided not to even ask about that. Pushing her curiosity aside, she moved on.

"So, why are you _here_?"

"I didn't have anywhere else to go." Rory admitted sheepishly, ashamed at the pathetic mess that her life had turned into. "I know you hate me now, mom, but I need you. I messed up. I _know _that I messed up, and I know I have to fix it, but the truth is that I can't. Not without you."

Lorelai had been trying ever since her daughter first betrayed her by dropping out of Yale, disregarding everything they had ever done to work hard for her to be there, to remain stoic and unmoving. 'Tough love' was the best solution she could come up with. But hearing those words, her resolve came crashing to the ground and all of her buried emotions came rushing to the surface at once: disappointment in her daughter's choices; anger at the way she left to live with _her parents_, of all people; worry that Rory wouldn't make it in the real world; guilt that this was somehow her fault, that there was more she could be doing but not knowing what; but most of all, love. Love for Rory. Rory was her best friend, and though this was the worst fight they had ever had, she had still missed her. Having Luke around helped a lot, and he was always _so_ great, but he wasn't Rory.

"Rory, I don't hate you. I could never hate you." Lorelai tried to gather herself together again. She had been doing so well! She couldn't give now. She still had to remain rational. "I love you, and you know that. You were my life, my _whole _life. My whole life since the day you were born was spent working so that you could go to college, so that you could have more than I did. You left. You _chose_ to not be my life anymore."

"You threw me out!" Rory protested.

"No I didn't. I told you couldn't live here if you dropped out of college. You could have stayed at Yale, Rory. You _should_ have stayed at Yale."

"And do what?"

"And be a journalist! God, Rory! This isn't you! Do you even remember who you are? You can't let one man's opinion on your journalistic abilities ruin your whole life. Not everybody is going to like what you write. Some people will _hate_ what you write, but you can't let that stop you! This isn't you. The Rory I know would have taken what Mitchum Huntzberger said as a challenge to try harder, not as a cue to give up the dream she's been working toward for twenty years."

Rory didn't say anything. She just sat and solemnly watched her mother get up and head back into the living room. Confused, Rory followed her and sat down on the couch as her mother paced anxiously in front of her. Finally coming to a stop, Lorelai also sat down on the couch. She turned so that she and Rory were facing each other, and then started lecturing her, this time more calmly.

"Look at your life Rory. Look at what you have become. 300 hours of community service,"

"Actually, I've only got 150 hours left." Rory cut in, but Lorelai ignored her.

"You've been arrested, for god's sake! You're a dropout, a quitter. And, good lord, a member of the DAR. You've been reduced to nothing more than a party planner. You've always been me, but better. A me who didn't get pregnant at sixteen, and who got to go to college. But now, now you're my mother."

Rory knew that, coming from Lorelai, this was the worst insult that could ever be thrown at her. But, no matter how much it hurt, there was no denying it. It was all absolutely true. And it was all her own fault.

"You were supposed to be more." Lorelai continued. "You _are_ more, I know you are. You are more than what you have become."

Rory finally broke down, falling into her mother's arms.

"I know! I'm so sorry. I've messed everything up. It's all my fault, and I know that! But I can't fix it without you, mom. Please don't make me."

Hearing her daughter begging so pitifully, Lorelai's heart broke into a million little pieces. How could she deny this little girl—for though she was an adult, she would always be her little girl? How could she deny her of anything? She didn't want to. Not anymore.

She pulled Rory closer and wrapped her arms tighter around her, and together, they cried. Although it was an act of despair and desperation, it felt good because they were doing it _together_, the two of them, the Gilmore Girls, together once more. And hopefully, together, they could work everything out.


End file.
